When the Editor sees nouns stacked one on top of another like a supermarket display, he begins to wonder what the English language is coming to. Where did our prepositional phrases go? Who stole all the relative clauses?
The problem with stacks of nouns is that they make the reader do all the work. When we see one noun modified by another noun modified by another noun, and so on, we have to figure out for ourselves what the relationships between the nouns are. Does Noun 1 modify Nouns 2 and 3, or only Noun 2? Does the sequence end at Noun 3, or will I turn the page and find Nouns 4, 5, and 6?
That’s the theoretical justification for preferring prepositional phrases and relative clauses. Now here are some practical examples that show the problem and how to solve it:
PHONE DATE/TIME DISPLAYS RESET
This was the title of a memo. What does it mean? Is it telling us that the date and time have been reset on all the telephones? Is it giving us instructions for what to do when we see the word “RESET” displayed where we would normally see the date and time? Neither; after reading the memo, we discover that it’s telling us how to reset the date and time on our phones. So that’s what the title should have been:
HOW TO RESET THE DATE AND TIME ON YOUR PHONE
It’s longer, but it actually takes much less time to read. The original title must have been concocted in answer to that most destructive of all writing questions, How can we say that?
…pattern match class criteria examples.
Do you know what this stack of nouns means? The Editor ran across it in the course of his work, and he never did figure it out. Examples of class criteria for pattern matching? Examples of criteria for pattern-matching classes? Examples of the pattern for match-class criteria? You see how desperately it needs sorting out.
Sometimes the noun problem can be more than annoying: it can be dangerous. Consider this, an example of how writing can go bad when verbs get turned into nouns:
WARNING: Actuation of this device indicates the presence of carbon monoxide (CO) which can be FATAL.
What does “actuation of this device” mean? Actually, it means the alarm going off; these are instructions for a carbon-monoxide detector. In other words, if you hear the alarm, get out quickly. And, while we’re at it, why on earth did the writer choose this moment—the middle of a warning telling us we could die if we don’t act quickly—to explain that the chemical symbol for carbon monoxide is CO? It’s a true fact, but it’s hardly relevant while we’re evacuating our home. Here’s a better way to say it:
WARNING: If you hear the alarm, get out quickly. The alarm means there is carbon monoxide, which can be fatal.
If you’re writing a warning, you absolutely must make yourself understood immediately. Lives are in your hands.
The Editor 